Embracing the Suck: Start Before You’re Ready

The story of the man who started many things and didn’t finish any is better than that of the one who didn’t start at all. That’s something I’ve been trying to tell myself for a long time. And writing this first post is one of those things.

Why I Didn’t Start

For a long time, I wanted to create something, but in my head there were always big thoughts - it must be great, help someone else, it shouldn’t be basic stuff you can find anywhere… It definitely shouldn’t be something philosophical that has nothing to do with what you are pursuing in your career. Don’t forget: if you put something out there, the whole world will see it, so you’d better not embarrass yourself.
That’s where I was stuck.

To put it into perspective, I’m kind of a software engineer, so the idea was to share some work, some problems and solutions, some overviews of what I was learning, and so on.
You know - those typical engineering posts, full of code snippets and words normal people wouldn’t understand. Every normal developer blog/log.

The Problem With Perfectionism

My idea of professionalism was narrow.
At heart, I’m someone who can write ten emojis in one sentence, so you can imagine how uncomfortable that version of professionalism felt.
Sooner or later, I realized that the life of a developer isn’t really just about code.

During all this time, it wasn’t just thinking about something - I even produced a few “articles”, if you can call them that. Mostly messy thoughts on topics I was working on - but putting stuff on paper, helps me think.
That’s also one of the reasons I wanted to start publishing in the first place. They still exist - you should never delete your ideas. It’s nice to come back and see the way your mind worked in the past.

The reality is, this will probably reach very few people.
It might not help anyone.
But it already serves its purpose. It exists because it matters to me — and maybe it helps you too.

Why I Finally Started

What was I looking for all this time? I’m still not sure.
What I do know is that I wasted a lot of time overthinking instead of doing something -something that makes it hard to start before you’re ready If my work were done in the same way, nothing would ever get done.
So would some chaotic articles be a good representation of someone aspiring to be a great software engineer? No - at least in my head.
But would great articles be a good representation of me? Probably not.
It isn’t about representing how smart you are, but how much you can grow - at least that’s how I think now.

I’m not the same person I was yesterday, or even one minute ago. I want to be me - to stay serious when it matters, and not so much when nothing is going on.
This is supposed to be a hobby, not another job.
I would probably enjoy it even if it were part of a job, but that enjoyment would fade over time, and I would eventually stop - as I have in the past.
But I want to see where this will take me - it’s about the path, not the goal.

Embracing the Suck

So what does all this have to do with “embracing the suck”?
I embrace that I suck - and you should as well. It will take many repetitions, and it will hopefully never be perfect, because that would mean there’s nowhere to grow.
And if you’re not growing, you’re declining - be it a person, a business, a job, whatever.

What This Blog Will Be

What is this supposed to be about? Who knows.
One day there might be an article about how you do some spark magic, another about how you bake a delicious chocolate cake :D

So if you are here and have read until now - welcome. If you’d like to point out how bad it is, feel free to contact me. Criticism has huge value.

This is me starting before I feel ready. Let’s see where it goes.